Thursday, 10 March 2011
Not giving a fuck
I was thinking how the meaning of this phrase (popularly known as DGAF - 'Don't give a fuck' in California and some states as I found out when I visited) can actually dramatically change your life if you apply it as a permanent feature of your mindset.
I grew up as a pretty shy child, I used to have a lisp (lissssssssssssp) and it put a dent in my confidence until about year 10 (15ish). Fortunately after years of tailoring my sentences so they didn't contain words with the letter "s" and avoiding public reading I taught myself to speak without a lisp (just make sure your tongue is behind your teeth when you talk, really not that fucking hard haha) and eventually begun to change.
Unfortunately, the change in my confidence even after losing my speechial retardation (not a word) wasn't sudden. Only in the last year has it improved quite noticeably, since I employed the DGAF method.
Through some severe Internet lurking on several forums I stumbled across the "meme" of "Not giving a fok" and decided to apply it to everyday life, I was still quite a nervous kid and got on with things but still had the underlying anxiety dwelling in my mind. Quite simply I decided to DGAF and every time the anxiety popped into my head I dismissed it by essentially tricking myself into thinking that regardless of the outcome I didn't care (DGAFfed). Although I knew I was tricking myself I also knew that this attitude led to a more adventurous and exhilarating lifestyle and consequently a better overall quality of life.
Some small scale examples of things that some of you may take for granted but were a big change for me:
- Talking to strangers, even asking for the time used to be scary for me, now I can spark up conversations with almost anyone if I want to.
- Doing new things (travel), a great way for me to see my progression is the fact that a few years ago I was too scared to make the journey to the opposite end of the country to meet some online friends I met through a mutual sport (Not as creepy as it sounds but I will elaborate in a later post.) and... now I love it! I visit as much as money permits me, I've also travelled the states alone via train which is something I literally wouldn't have dreamed of a few years back!
- Doing new things (other), I'm far more open to trying new things! Attending protests and meetings for various subjects (Zietgiest, anti-cuts etc). Trying new hobbies, the DGAF doesn't necessarily have to be applied to confidence alone. I can now take time to research things I'm interested in or... write a blog because I stopped caring about television and forums etc. DGAFing eliminates lathargism!
- Fully expressing my (often controversial) opinions, to the point where it could even offend a person (not saying these are good changes for everyone but personally I love being able to express my opinions in real life as truthfully as you can in the online world). This hasn't always "helped" in certain situations but I've always gone out of them being glad I did it.
- Doing certain... "Frowned upon" activities I wouldn't have dared to do before. Such as train bunking, disregarding laws upon certain mind altering substances, etc. All things that benefit me greatly and wish I had started earlier.
- Not caring what other people think, I find it's the best way to live and gives you way more confidence in social situations if you literally take no concern to anything anyone says*.
*It's important to emphasise that there is a big, big difference to just thinking about this attitude and to literally adopting it. DGAFing can't be overlapping your anxiety it must be REPLACING it.
I'm not saying I've fully eliminated any negative thoughts from my mind and "perfected" the technique, but I definitely have seen the benefits and strive to continue adapting it until I have reached it's full potential. Some days I completely relapse into my old shy state (normally due to being alone or in a bad mood for extended amounts of time) but soon I hope this new mindset will completely take over me!
Anyone with any opinion or experience of similar things please share!